Thursday, March 27, 2008

If You're Going on a Road Trip, You Better Have a Vehicle!

Logic dictates that if one is to embark upon a road trip that one will have an appropriate vehicle for this undertaking. The gods have blessed Steve and me. We shall be voyaging in a classic Tatra Motokov. I can hear everyone already - what the heck is a Tatra Motokov? The Tatra Motokov is a masterpiece of Soviet engineering. The Tatra Motokov is world-renowned for championing many Siberian road trips. What makes this historical relic ultra-modern is that it runs on biofuel! This Soviet sucker gets 50km per liter of vodka! A photo of our ride's exterior has been provided.

What is incredibly remarkable about the Tatra Motokov is the interior. Its external appearance betrays the magnifience and volume that lies within. I have also provided a photo of the Tatra Motokov's interior for your viewing pleasure while you peruse the remarkable detail and craftsmanship that is presented in words too feeble to capture a first-hand experience.


"The entry steps are rare Inca marble bull nosed by Featherlite resident stone artist Francesca J. The risers are hand-made glass tile with imbedded copper, courtesy of Sadie H. The ceiling and AV cabinet in the helm are covered with pearlized Italian leather while the veneer on the dash and steering wheel are sapele Pommele from Africa, the unparalled work of Keagen S. The helm is equipped with an Avic N-2 global positioning system with real-time traffic and weather alerts. The salon features a custom Italian sofa with double electric recliners, handcrafted by Anna B. The Platinum Plus also has a private lavatory with one of a kind glass sink and countertop of fused glass by Seattle artist Jordan S."

I do not believe that I can express the joy inherent in commanding such a vehicle better than Kenneth Grahame, an acclaimed British author of whom I have never heard until today: "Glorious, stirring sight! The poetry of motion! The real way to travel! The only way to travel! Here today -- in next week tomorrow! Villages skipped, towns and cities jumped -- always somebody else's horizons! O bliss! O poop-poop! O my! O my!"

Yet, as Flava Flav famously declared: "Don't believe the hype!" We shall be touring in a 1996 Toyota Avalon.

3 comments:

Mistolina said...
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Mistolina said...
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Mistolina said...

Don't you just adore my designs? They are so full of sprightly youthful ideas and je-ne-sais-qoui. Right, Mr. Matluck?

~Francesca J.